Saving Face

Okay, don’t expect all my emails to be this close together but today is different... today there was an ‘incident’. As incidents are few and far between in my life, it would be remiss of me not to write about it immediately!

When Mick first took the job here he used to describe to me a trait of the Chinese commonly known to the rest of us as ‘saving face’. This means that they are taught never to question hierarchy or systems, they are never to embarrass or shame themselves or others. They must always keep up appearances. This applies to their visual appearance as well as their character. Until today I had not seen an example of this for myself. Until the ‘incident’...

You need a small amount of background to understand why I am making such a big deal out of this: Every day we take our lives into our own hands here. On the road the drivers do whatever they please. Zebra crossings mean nothing, they’ll squeeze a car between the pram I’m pushing and the curb if they think they can. The scooters are even worse. The Taiwanese in general live in their own little universe and have zero concern for anyone around them. In all public spaces we are amazed everyday at how they can move through the world without once considering someone else’s situation. They have no peripheral vision, or if they do they choose not to use it and if a pedestrian wants to use a space on the footpath that is the only area a pram can go... they will use it anyway. So...

Today Xander and I are at the local supermarket doing our shopping. I actually use my peripheral vision and am always aware of other people in my space. A woman in front of me hesitates as to which direction she is going to take and then launches sideways and her foot catches on Xander’s pram. She goes head over heels, shopping items all over the floor. I gasp and run to her to help her up. I gather her shopping ready to hand it to her, expecting her to brush herself off, check if anyone else saw the incident and with an embarrassed smile say ‘it’s ok’ and walk away (that’s what a mortified woman would do in Aus). No... she lays on the floor for a good two minutes (perhaps contemplating how to deal with her embarrassment) then she gets into seated position and begins rubbing her knee. I wait. She continues to do this for about five minutes. I’m standing there with her shopping in my hand asking her if she’s ok. She still hasn’t made eye contact. She breathes heavily and continues to rub her knee. I look at Xander and roll my eyes... this is getting a bit melodramatic I think. Finally she gets up, still not addressing me directly and proceeds to gather as many people in our near vicinity as possible. Now, even with the language barrier I can tell that she is asking them all if they witnessed the incident and is asking for something to be done about it. I give her my phone number in exasperation and try to walk away and she stops me. She now has a crowd gathered and she turns to me and says ‘not ok’. I am completely in shock at this point. Not only was it not my fault but everyday I negotiate my way around these obnoxious people and SHE’S accusing ME!!!! No-one around us seems to want to support her, they’re all listening but not doing much, a few smirks here and there so I shake my head and walk off. I snuck out of the shop and saw security guards gathered at the door. I’m not sure if they were there for me or not but we were gone before you could say spickeldyboo!

Sigh... I have no photos to share of that one... I’m not convinced she would have been too happy if I started happy snapping J.

It wasn’t until I took a few deep breaths and got a little way down the street that I realised I may have just witnessed my first example of ‘saving face’. It was more important for her to gather the attention and pass the blame than to simply get up and move on.

Aaaahhh, it’s the little cultural differences that make international travel so fascinating.


That’s all.

Sabrina
http://www.life-coach.net.au